A few days ago Jeremy and I went on our first daytime outing/walk. We walked to a nearby nursery and I carefully selected an arrangement of flowers to plant. Yesterday I was able to resist snuggling Jeremy long enough to plant these bulbs. Being outside and breathing the cool, fall air was quite refreshing and it felt good to get my hands in the dirt. It seems like gardening is an opportune time for reflection.
As I planted, I reflected on how I love the symbolism of spring, the new life, the celebration of Easter, and remembering that our Lord and Savior gave His life so that we could all live again. I thought about how spring is not near, yet it is essential that I prepare for it now by planting these bulbs before winter comes.
. . . I've typed and retyped words trying to summarize the thoughts I had about how this parallels our spiritual preparation, but I haven't found the right words to succinctly summarize my thoughts. So I decided I wouldn't try to put what it meant to me in to words, but just leave that for you to think about . . . if you want.
I may not be able to take fresh flowers to Luke's grave as often as I'd like, but being able to plant these bulbs makes me feel like I'm planting flowers for Luke. Last fall I planted flowers for Luke and I'm glad I was able to carry on the tradition here. I do not know how long we will live where we currently live. Perhaps this spring will be the only time that I see these flowers bloom. And perhaps next fall I'll be planting bulbs in yet another new location. It makes me smile to think that I'm leaving a flower trail in memory of Luke wherever I go.
I completed this task while intermittently checking on Jeremy while he slept soundly inside. I couldn't help thinking about the contrast in mothering my boys. Jeremy is receiving mothering in the typical way, yet planting those flowers in honor and memory of Luke is also part of being a mother. It's just manifest differently.
I love being able to show my love for my boys.