Christmas 2012

I would be foolish to try to deny that I received the best Christmas present ever!  Well, I guess he arrived a bit before Christmas.

We've loved having Jeremy with us through the holidays. He even got to be the star of the show and play baby Jesus as we acted out the nativity on Christmas Eve with our nieces and nephews who live in Virginia.

This year definitely contrasted last Christmas, when I had such aching, empty arms. Even though Jeremy is with us and fills our arms and hearts and time, we still miss our Luke.

It's times like these that I wish we lived near Luke's grave. I wanted to be there for the Christmas Eve candle lighting that happens in the cemetery. If there wasn't a candle burning on his grave it isn't because he isn't loved. Because he is. Very much. I wanted very much to be able to honor him and bring something Christmasy to adorn his grave.

Christmas morning, before we ventured over to my brother- and sister-in-laws house, I sat under our tree holding Jeremy and telling Trevor, with tears in my eyes just that. I wish we could have been there to honor him.

But we weren't. So in my heart I carried the memory of Luke with me as we continued on our day with all of our festivities. Though it can be bittersweet, I am grateful for both of my baby boys.