"Bebe? Do you see the bebe?" The daughter says "bebe" as she sits in her stroller looking over at us. The mother and I begin to engage in conversation. "How old is he?"
"6 weeks," I reply. "How old is your daughter?"
"She's adorable." And I finish packing up our belongings with tears in my eyes.
I have friends who had babies the same time Luke was born. I have watched them grow, but only through pictures since we've moved. I knew they were growing in size, but I hadn't consciously considered the developmental milestones they're moving through.
Luke would be talking.
It broke my heart to be missing out on that.
Yes, I know that Jeremy will talk one day. But there I was, tears in my eyes, my heart so grateful to have Jeremy in my arms and with me, but hurting for the experiences that I'm not having with Luke.
I miss him. And even though I know it wasn't his time to be with our family and that I will get to raise him one day it was hard knowing I don't have that now.
Miss you, little guy!