I was pregnant too ...

The week after I gave birth to Luke I remember thinking, Was I even pregnant? It all seemed like a dream. It seemed like I had only imagined those nine months, because there I was - with no baby.

It's hard enough to try to deal with your own pysche that's questioning the existence of your pregnancy, but then for other's to not recognize it either...

Ten days after Luke's funeral, I was helping out at a function with several other women. One woman started to comment on another woman's amazing ability too look great nearly immediately after giving birth. She proceede to compliment this woman's ability to be back to her pre-pregnancy size in no time.

First, how insensitive to bring up such a topic with me present! Fortunately, I was at an emotionally stable place and could handle talk of pregnancy and birth, but she didn't know that.

Second, if you're going to bring up pregnancy at least acknowledge me! I may not have a baby here with me, but I was pregnant for nine months. I gave birth to a full grown baby. And quite frankly, I think, I looked good after doing it!

12 days after giving birth

In her defense, perhaps she didn't want to acknowledge me as also being a woman who's given birth, because it's a potentialy awkward situation, especially with everything occurring so recently. But then the question, why did she even start that conversation in my presence? I still wonder...

It may be different for every woman, but I know I'm not the only mother of a stillborn baby that wants to at least be acknowledged. 

And if you're not sure if someone is comfortable talking about her pregnancy, birth, or anything else surrounding the matter or not sure if she's comfortable listening to you talk about pregnancy and birth - all you have to do is ask. It's only as simple as saying, "Is it okay that we talk about this around you?" or "Are you comfortable talking about your pregnancy?" I know, for me, this would have made all the difference.