Some mom's look at their children as they grow up and exclaim "I can't believe it's already been 8 months!" (or whatever the number is). I know, because I read those very exclamations on facebook quite often.
Luke isn't here, but I feel like I could make that exclamation too. I can't believe it's already been eight months! I think I feel that way for, obviously, different reasons. I feel like 8 months sounds like a long time, but to me it doesn't feel like a long time.
Perhaps in the eyes of the rest of the world it's something that happened a long time ago, but for me it still feels as fresh as ever. As I write these words I realize that I've probably written something very similar before and I might each month and each year forever -I can't believe it's been 1 year...5 years...31 years... I think the time will continue on and I will always be amazed at how it plummets on, pressing forward from the day that I gave birth to Luke. I think I will always have that day as a marker, held in time, as a reference. For me, I wonder if and think that perhaps it might always feel like it is something that just happened even though that's not the case. I like to think that though. I like to think that it's not something to just be forgotten and not simply become a past event. For others it might just become that or even seem like that especially when I tell them how long ago Luke was born. Yet to me it will never be just a past event, but a tragically beautiful part of my life that I will always carry with me.
Luke, I still think about you every day. I wonder what your life is like, right now, in heaven. I can't wait until the day that we can be together and you can tell me all about it. Love, your mommy.