Did I mention that I'm okay with other pregnant women? Well, I am. I know some mothers aren't, after loosing their own child. But I am and have been since August, so much, that I kinda wanted to prove it when I had the opportunity to host a baby shower. The first shower was in November. It was for my dear friend and neighbor Ruth. My friend Emily and I wanted to throw her a shower for her first girl anyway, but I partially wanted to do it so that my friends and neighbors knew that I was okay with pregnant women and babies. We were also able to throw a shower for my other dear friend and neighbor Michelle in January (who just delivered her son with
my midwife Sherri as per my recommendation!).
 |
| Eliza, Ruth, Baby Ember, & Michelle |
 |
| Diaper cake and onesie & receiving blanket cupcakes |
 |
| Fun shower game, by Emily |
 |
| Delicious cupcakes and ice cream bar, by Ruth |
In contrast, a couple days ago I was scanning my Facebook feed as I waited in the airport. I thought,
Is there a post on here that doesn't
have to do with a pregnancy or birth announcement?! I just wasn't in the mood for it. But when you're twenty-something and most your friends are married, it makes sense that they're posting about having babies. I mean, I am too, but my baby isn't living.
Like I said before, I don't resent these people, I just wasn't in the mood to read about their bliss. Luckily, I didn't have to, and with one click I was no longer reading about ultrasounds, feeling baby kicks, and all that other exciting baby stuff.
I guess it's like anything though - sometimes you're just not in the mood for it. I mean, I like ice cream, but if I'm not in the mood I don't eat it. So I guess it's the same with pregnancy and babies. I like it. I even
love it, but if I'm not in the mood to hear about it, I don't need to. I know that's not very profound, but it's reassuring to me to know that I'm in control and I don't need to subject myself to everyone else's baby bliss if I don't want to.
You have such a mature perspective.
ReplyDeleteI felt resentful (and still sometimes do) when I see engagements and wedding stuff. I realize that the Lord does have a plan for me, and my special time will come, but it's haaarrrrd to be patient and trust in the Lord and His timetable.
A wise person once said, "you can either choose faith or fear."
Well I'm glad we can still be friends even though I'm pregnant, though I wouldn't blame you one bit if you couldn't handle hearing about pregnancy. It just shows what an amazing person you are Shelley that you can still be happy for others even though life is hard. Love you mucho.
ReplyDeleteOh, and the baby showers are adorable!
I'm so glad you posted about this. I have been in agony since August. Never quite sure how hard it must have been for you. Thank you for sharing your feelings and experiences. And of course, thank you for the beautiful shower and an AMAZING midwife. Love you, my dear friend!
ReplyDeleteI have been feeling the same thing as Michelle. I know it's gotta be hard for you to hear about babies and pregnancies, but at the same time not wanting to shut other people out. I'm glad that you are okay with it, even if there are times when you don't want to deal with it. Definitely understandable. I love you tons!
ReplyDeleteLove the decorations and everything for the baby showers. =)